Other Side of Homelessness

To understand how a mom with a newborn and a toddler can end up living in their car in a place like Kelowna in 2023, we must first understand how we see poverty and the lines that define it.

Our current system doesn’t reflect the cost of living per capita when determining these poverty cut off lines, therefore leaving thousands of Mamas in the Okanagan at a disadvantage due to their perceived adequate income as compared to a national average. This is compounded by pervasive misunderstandings of accessibility, affordability and eligibility for subsidized/low income housing.

The income line is too low for most to be eligible, and when they are eligible the waitlists can span years. As we know, the interim options available for $1000 a month are akin to relative homelessness.

While we know that 1 in 5 children live in absolute poverty in BC, we don’t really talk about what that actually means. We don’t talk about the brutal fact that for the last 19 years in B.C., 1 in 2 kids from a lone parent household has lived in absolute poverty falling under the approximately $20,000 household income (still1in5.ca). Based on what we know, this equates to 50% of kids in BC from a single mother or father household were facing housing and food insecurity on a regular basis before the age of 6.

This also means that right now, at least 50% of children with a single mom or dad are at risk of homelessness in your own community.To understand how a mom with a newborn and a toddler can end up living in their car in a place like Kelowna in 2023, we must first understand how we see poverty and the lines that define it.

Our current system doesn’t reflect the cost of living per capita when determining these poverty cut off lines, therefore leaving thousands of Mamas in the Okanagan at a disadvantage due to their perceived adequate income as compared to a national average. This is compounded by pervasive misunderstandings of accessibility, affordability and eligibility for subsidized/low income housing.

The income line is too low for most to be eligible, and when they are eligible the waitlists can span years. As we know, the interim options available for $1000 a month are akin to relative homelessness.

While we know that 1 in 5 children live in absolute poverty in BC, we don’t really talk about what that actually means. We don’t talk about the brutal fact that for the last 19 years in B.C., 1 in 2 kids from a lone parent household has lived in absolute poverty falling under the approximately $20,000 household income (still1in5.ca). Based on what we know, this equates to 50% of kids in BC from a single mother or father household were facing housing and food insecurity on a regular basis before the age of 6.

This also means that right now, at least 50% of children with a single mom or dad are at risk of homelessness in your own community.

That’s not including those who fall just over the poverty line. Households making approximately $40,000 before tax for a family or 4 (making $20 an hour) leads to not qualifying for federal and many provincial poverty relief subsidies. They also don’t make enough to get by despite working full time. With the market value of rentals and the cost of basic food staples in the Okanagan, the low income threshold is closer to $68,000 for the household. There are few supports for those falling between poverty and an income conducive to prosperity. These are those facing relative poverty and comprise most of the invisible homeless population.

There are those facing homelessness that you see and those you don’t. The hundreds of Mamas we serve with homelessness support every year are those you don’t see.

Those you see are generally considered the “absolute homeless”. Those you don’t, or those invisible homeless, fall under the umbrella of relative homeless.

Mamas, Papas and Families often fall into the latter category and are more often than not, outwardly invisible in their struggle. They still go to work full time, the kids still go to school, they shower at a local gym, and wash clothes at a laundromat. They just can’t afford $3000 a month for housing, and if they can it’s usually not for longer than a month after paying the deposit plus first/last months rent.

It’s uncomfortable to know there are moms and their babies/kids sleeping cramped up in their cars, often in the parking lot of the grocery store just down the street from you.

It’s uncomfortable to know that the shelters are generally full and the wait lists for many subsidized housing units are years’ long.

It’s uncomfortable to know that moms often stay in unsafe domestic situations because they believe there is no other option. It’s uncomfortable to know many people return to unsafe situations after trying to leave because they feel there is nowhere left to go.

It’s also uncomfortable to know about all of this, because you may feel helpless to do anything. You’re not though. Neither are we.

We know better, so we get to do better.

It’s ok to be uncomfortable, in fact it’s essential in the role of helping others to be able to be comfortable with your own discomfort.

We can’t change what we don’t acknowledge, and when our most vulnerable neighbours are seen, we all rise.

Those you see living in absolute homelessness are but a visible microcosm of what happens when we don’t invest in homelessness prevention for families and kids before it gets to this point. It’s a reminder of hundreds of moms, dads and kids living in cars, tents, and unsafe housing. Not because they aren’t working full time, but because there is actually nothing available.

Availability, affordability, and eligibility are the key factors and barriers to stable housing faced by hundreds of families in our community.

The invisible homeless include the mamas & papas who are currently without shelter but staying at a friends house or in a tent. Those staying in their cars at new locations each night, those who are at risk of homelessness due to inability to pay their rent the following month, and those who are transitioning in and out of a shelter but not yet placed in short or long term housing.

We talk a lot about the rate of homelessness but we don’t include all of those falling through the cracks.

The mamas you don’t know about because they aren’t tracked anywhere. There is no record of them being homeless because they aren’t at a shelter or registered at an agency.
Until now. We see the Mamas quietly reaching out for help, staying at a friends, or spending their last dollars on a motel for a night of sleep on a real bed for her kids.

The homeless you don’t know about are the dozens, or even hundreds, of moms with boys over the age of 14 who can’t be in a women’s shelter together due to his age; so they often sleep in the car or camp somewhere off grid. At least they’re together, even if it’s just them against the world.

The invisible homeless are those precariously housed, paying 90% of their income on a roof over their heads.

Many in this situation may have access to a motel for a cheap rate on the off season but as soon as the tourists roll in, their $1000 monthly rent from October-May has tripled, and they’re on their own until the low season rates again become available. The precariously housed are in housing they can’t afford because they can’t afford to lose their kids.

It’s easy to pass judgement from a lens of meritocracy, or a lens that if we just worked hard enough we could reach our goals. But the reality of it is, we are not all born with the same privilege. The same privilege of stable housing as a rule not an exception, the privilege of 3 meals a day without question, the privilege of a stable nervous system as a child because you haven’t moved 3 times this month already. Stable housing and the security of safety in where you lay your head at night is the basis for a physical and mental health. The impact on a child while they’re so young and still trying to understand the world can have major consequences for years down the road. Helping to address invisible homelessness today can only help to avoid the adverse childhood experiences from compounding into absolute homelessness for these kids tomorrow. There is a plethora of research on the long term repercussions of adverse childhood experiences on the development of the child, and the direct correlation of ACE’s with children living in poverty.

The impact of ACE’s start during childhood, and continues as the kids become adolescents and then adults.
“The experience of housing insecurity defined as high housing costs, poor, housing, quality, unstable, neighborhoods, overcrowding, and especially homelessness places children at risk of A C E exposure”.(homelesshub.ca).

We talk about shelter as a basic human right but we will only see change when we recognize that is it is currently available primarily to those of privilege. It’s okay to be unaware, but once we know better, we need to do better.

A privilege for those society had deemed worthy, who had worked hard enough for it, who had earned it.

Any mama, anywhere will tell you they will do anything they can to protect their babies. They’ll give you a million and one reasons why they’re worth it. Worth your time, worth your attention and worth your social investment.

Then there are the mamas who are about to be homeless but because of the high cost of rent compared to their income are deemed “too high risk of recurrent homelessness” for government and most nonprofit subsidy programs. With studio apartments being $2300 and 2-3 bedroom places landing closer to $3000 and rental vacancies being around 1%, it is often a debt sentence to find housing for a family and a waiting game to keep it.

The need for long term, subsidized housing for families is needed more than ever. It’s a basic preventative measure we can implement individually as provinces to address the gaps in the system, while we work at each level of government and private enterprise to create a system that ensures the basic human right of shelter is available to all little ones. The 1 in 5 Children who grow up under the absolute poverty line are almost guaranteed to experience one level of homelessness before their 5th birthday. The 3 in 5 kids growing up under the relative poverty line, which means their parents make more than deemed poverty by the government ($21,000 and $43,000 give or take depending on family size) but don’t make enough to cover basic costs, often experience a form of homelessness before their 10th birthday. The statistics are staggering, the human impact is even greater. There is a clear gap in the system and too many families have fallen through the gaps and there is only so much we can do as Mamas for Mamas.

We’ve had a donor from the development world learn of the issue and became determined to help us fill the gap. They have decided to donate $50,000 to the Mamas fill the housing gap campaign to help us provide support to 50 families to find long term housing as we develop more long term, system based solutions with community stakeholders to engage all levels; government, private and public enterprise. Homelessness isn’t a me issue, or a you issue. It’s an us issue. A societal issue but more relevant, it’s and a community’s role to collectively look after our most vulnerable neighbours.

The lead philanthropist of the campaign to leave no mama unhoused is inviting you from the development, real estate and construction world to join their match of $50,000 alone or as a group of people who are just as passionate about housing as they are building beautiful houses.

If the last few years have taught us anything, it’s that many of us are just one major life incident away from being on the other side of a helping hand. So if you’ve got a hand or a dollar to lend, we’ve got a mama in mind who needs a hand up to a safe haven that only we, together, can provide to those who’ve fallen through the cracks.